And still life goes on without my Mom.
I'm living in my own apartment, which is fun...most of the time. Thankfully I have James who is so understanding and comforting through all the messiness, that he is willing to stay at the apartment at night until I fall asleep so I'm not lonely. It's weird not having my family around, but I'm realizing more and more each day, that with God's strength in me, I can get through anything.
Strength, grace, love, forgiveness...they're all so hard to come by when a person that you love to deeply, takes off and decides to live their own life. But I'm seeing how strong God has made me, my dad, and even Tanner (although he's having such a hard time). I see how gracious the Lord has been with each one of us. How He's there to comfort us, to guide us, and to protect us. The world is an ugly place, and I know this, I've seen how ugly the world is firsthand when I was over in Africa last summer. But now, the ugliness has hit my family and I see how painful it is, but I also see the Lord shining through.
God is good. He is. And He's just waiting for my Mom to come back to Him. And when she does, I'll be waiting there as well, to greet her with open arms, a huge hug, and tears.
I love my Mom.
I miss her.
I miss her so much that it feels like a chunk of my life disappeared. But it's okay.
Life in Christ continues and I await the day to have my best friend back.
Autumn, I want to cry reading what you are going through. No daughter should be abandoned by her mother, but with sin & Satan in this world, this has happened more than it should. My heart hurts for you. I'll be praying for you. You are walking through this in a very good way: not ignoring your feelings, but pouring them out to God and being honest with what you're feeling. I really hope that you and your dad and brother have surrounded yourselves with strong church family to hold you up when you barely the strength to stand. Times like this are harder than we ever thought any hard time would be - but it's when God shows up. Even though Satan meant this for evil, God will use it for good. I promise. We can only pray it's the good that we hope it is. Again, I'm sorry you are going through this, but I know, and you know, that God is holding your hand through it and that He will comfort your heart. Love you, chica.
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